Spooked

With Halloween right around the corner, I've been thinking about scary stuff.  Or, more specifically, about the things that scare us.  

Some fears are completely rational, and paying attention to them can make a difference in our very ability to survive: primal, and oftentimes hardwired fears like fear of dark places, and fear of threats to our physical body. 



Because let's face it, there are plenty of real life things to be afraid of. 

Then there are the other kind of fears.
The irrational, or at least less-than-rational ones.
Sometimes they are conditioned or learned behavior - from others or from our own past experiences. Sometimes they are coping mechanisms that are born out of our  inability to control situations that arise.  (There's a great overview of rational and irrational fears, and their physical manifestations here.)

Some of these thoughts about fears came to mind today, after texting back and forth with one of my new buddies from Bass and Nature Camp.  When I decided to go to camp last spring, I was a newbie with only about  6 months of bass experience under my belt.  I'd been intrigued by the general idea of combining music instruction with nature study, and I thought I knew a reasonable amount about Victor Wooten, although I couldn't claim to be a long-time fan.  The best thing I did beforehand was to read his book, The Music Lesson. (You can read here about the fantastic time I had at camp.)

Thank heavens for naivete!  
Once I got home from camp, I dug a little deeper and learned more about Victor and the many instructors and special guests at camp. Once I realized the wealth of literally world class talent and the depth of  experience of the people there, it amazed and freaked me out all over again. 

But.
What if my fears - of being a beginner, which essentially means being unskilled and, to a degree, unaware - what if that overrode my desire to go?  

What if I'd missed out on the whole, life-changing experience because I didn't want to look silly or feel embarrassed? Fear of failure can be enormously powerful.  What it that had held me back?

Honestly, at only six months of experience, I did make mistakes. 
Quite a bunch.  
There was a lot that I didn't know - and still don't.  

All the same, the rewards from the experience far outweigh the embarrassment of the goof ups - in the classes, or, yikes, on stage. (Yep, this beginner bass player got rattled and, among other things, lost 'The One' in my final performance. That's something that bass players are definitely not supposed to do. Just ask Bootsy Colllins about it.) 

You could say that I failed, but I feel like I succeeded.

So with the spookfest of Halloween looming ahead, I've decided to give myself a small fear challenge. For the next few months, I'm going to chip away at a couple of things that scare me a little, or make me feel anxious or awkward, and...see what happens.

Tune back in this week to see what makes the fear challenge bucket list.